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Wednesday, June 7, 2023

Favorite Day Piña Colada Trail Mix


Things are already sticky enough in the summer. We don't need sticky foods to make things stickier. I can already tell the ingredients of this trail mix have fused together from the summer heat before I even open the bag. It looks like some genius has mixed together five of the stickiest foods known to man in a little plastic bag and released it as a seasonal summertime-only offering at Target...because, you know, in any other season the stickiness wouldn't be an issue.

This stuff better taste great, because I have a feeling I'm going to go through a lot of Wet Ones and be very grumpy after consuming a few handfuls...


First impressions: yes, my suspicions about the sticky-factor were absolutely correct. The ingredients all stick together in giant wads that you have to pry apart with your fingers, which then get covered in all manner of sugary glazes and syrups, which you then have to spend absurd amounts of time licking clean and/or using entire packs of wet wipes and/or running your hands under the faucet and/or showering to cleanse yourself from the tacky substance that now coats your entire body, and if you've eaten a handful or two somehow amidst the chaos, your pores are now secreting a sticky sweet jelly that fuses you to your car seat or office chair and prevents you from moving and making further attempts to clean the viscid goo from your body, face, and clothes and soon you succumb to the mucilaginous substance completely, cease moving, and become prey for whatever insects or wild animals smell the cloying glaze and begin to feed first on the confectionery coating and rum-flavored syrups and continue on to your lifeless body now too weak to resist the ravenous creatures as they feast and frenzy unto your demise.

But if you can make it past the stickiness, yes this is a tasty mix. It's possible I'm exaggerating just a tad, but this product is a little on the sweet side, I'd say. It vaguely tastes like piña colada, and I LOVE piña coladas.


They even have an element that tastes like rum. Those pecans go great with that gooey, syrupy, rummy glaze. The dried fruits are nothing to write home about, but they don't really detract from the mix, either.

I like the coconut pineapple balls. They're the best part. Not as sticky as some of the other ingredients.

TL;DR - The mix is a tad too sweet and way too sticky, but it tastes pretty good overall.

I give this trail mix 7 out of 10 stars.



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