Archer Farms Hawaiian Style Pizza

I really wanted to like this pizza. I really did.

I was very hungry when I ate it, which usually helps a product's score. You know, I'm less critical when famished. A slice of plain bread seems pretty tempting when my belly is growling.

But this pizza was still disappointing. Many of you know I'm not a pork, ham, and bacon kind of guy, for the most part. However, even I like a good Hawaiian pizza every now and again. But this was not a good Hawaiian pizza.

This thing gives our 50th state a bad name. I mean, I'd still like to travel there some day—it's not our southernmost state's fault this weak excuse for a pizza has its name on it.

Unlike many other Archer Farms pizzas, this offering actually looks pretty good. One might ask for a tad more cheese, but there's a surprising amount of Canadian bacon and pineapple on it. Unfortunately, none of the toppings are particularly flavorful.

And the crust was the worst part. It was cardboard-esque—both in texture and in flavor.

Don't believe me on this one? Check out Target's own website, complete with unanimous one star reviews. Even I didn't think it was that bad. But then again, I might have found this product edible because I was extremely hungry when I tried it.

For nutrition facts, just click here.

I'll go with a 4 out of 10 on this one.

Archer Farms Red Velvet Cupcake

Hmmm. An individual red velvet cupcake for $1.29? Worth a try, I guess. And much less of a commitment than purchasing a half dozen of them...you know, in case it's not very good. On the other hand, it's a more expensive cost per unit...

I've had one other red velvet item from Archer Farms and it wasn't the greatest. Granted, those were cookies, not cupcakes or actual cake—which, I believe, are slightly less risky than cookies, since red velvet's natural state is super cakey.

Upon first peeling back the liner, I was surprised how moist the cupcake was. But it was also very crumbly. It totally disintegrated right in my hand. I quickly discovered there's not only a very large glob of icing on top of the pastry, but there's also a cache of creme filling in the middle—the cake surrounding those two areas of sugary confection were the only two areas not completely falling apart.

Taste-wise, it's good for what it is. The frosting on top is very rich and almost cream-cheesy, while the filling in the middle is just more sugary sweet like the filling of a Twinkie. When you get a bite with both types of frosting, it's a bit overwhelming, although individually each icing is fairly pleasant. The cake part is my least favorite. It's not as rich and flavorful as other red velvets I've had in the past. Not terrible, just not great.

All in all, I'm glad I tried it, but I probably wouldn't buy this particular flavor again.

I give this cupcake 7 out of 10 stars.