Good & Gather Elote-Inspired Mini Empanadas

I've reviewed empanadas before. And I've reviewed elote-inspired dishes, too. And I've tried each dish from street vendors and restaurants. But I've never ever heard of elote empanadas before laying eyes on this product. Mexican street corn stuffed into a little fried bread pocket? Sounds absolutely delish.

After a spell in the air fryer, some of the filling started popping out the sides of the little turnover pastries and flowing onto the bottom of our Ninja's basket. They smelled pretty good, though. And they looked decent, too: the breading turned crispy brown and the filling was full of corn and creamy cheese.

They tasted vaguely like elote, I guess. There was definitely some mayo in there, or "mayonnaise-type dressing" as it says in the ingredients list, as well as citrus flavors, corn—obviously—and some nice herbs and spices like cilantro, oregano, chili and onion powder. They had a tangy, creamy flavor. I wouldn't have minded more cheese in the mix. Although sour cream, cream cheese, and parmesan are all listed in the ingredients, they kind of just stayed in the background.

$5.79 for eight tiny little empanadas. Certainly not the best value at Target or anywhere else for that matter, but worth a purchase if you're looking for a unique appetizer or convenient snack. The packaging says it's two servings, but I could have demolished this whole package in a single sitting easily. I was nice and shared with the wifey for lunch the other day, so we had to supplement with other snacks, sides, and Thanksgiving leftovers. My score would have been higher if there had been more food in the box. As is, I might buy again.

I give this appetizer 7 out of 10 stars.

Good & Gather Roasted Artichoke & Spinach Hummus

Flavorful and fiber-rich, there's nothing like a good tub of hummus. It's so easy to eat, too. Just warm up a piece of pita bread, and soon you've got a makeshift Middle Eastern restaurant on your coffee table while you watch TV.

I usually don't even take the hummus out of the tub. I just dunk the bread right into the container, and when I'm done, I put it all back in the fridge. This product was no different.

I'm not sure if Archer Farms, Simply Balanced, or Market Pantry ever produced any hummus or not. If they did, I somehow missed it all those years. I'm a pretty big fan of the swirled chickpea delight, so I'm sure if I had ever seen it at Target, I would have tried it and probably reviewed it.

There's a subtle artichokey kinda flavor to this hummus, and like many other varieties and brands, there's a nice garlic undertone. I don't really remember tasting much in the way of lemon, capers, or spinach in the actual hummus mix. The peppers are mostly in the middle, where you'll also find bits of artichoke and spinach leaves. I usually feel like there aren't enough vegetable chunks in the middle of tubs of hummus like they did here. Sabra brand does something similar. But if you evenly disperse the center veggies throughout this product, there's plenty of them in this case.

There's nothing harsh about the taste. Sometimes there's just too much garlic or a nasty aftertaste with certain hummus. Not so here. It's got a refined mellow essence that makes it uber-noshable. Quality-wise, I'd put it on par with any other major hummus brand, and honestly, this flavor is probably one of the best combos I've ever tried.

All things considered, this is an extremely tasty condiment. $2.99 for the 10 oz container. I'd absolutely purchase again, and I'll be on the lookout for other flavors in this lineup.

I give this hummus 8 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Parmesan Garlic Potato Chips

It's been a while since we've taken a look at Archer Farms potato chips. Let's see...I think these Sweet Potato Chips might have been the last ones we reviewed, a full two years ago already. Can you believe May 2015 was two whole years ago?? Time flies.

And I'm very grateful that my long hiatus from AF chips was ended by such an excellent product. It's got the same reasonable $2.79 price tag and the same resealable ziplock-at-the-top bag as we've seen many times before.

But the flavor of these chips is great. Especially if you love parmesan cheese and garlic, which fortunately, I do.

The parmesan hits your tongue first. There's something warm and comforting about the flavor. It doesn't taste like a dusting of grated parmesan. It actually tastes like a big block of the cheese, like the one displayed on the artwork on the packaging, has been seamlessly interwoven into each chip. It's not an overwhelming flavor, but it's just right—enough to know you're not eating plain potato chips, but not so much to bowl you over.

Likewise, the garlic adds a nice earthy, herby essence to the finish that prompts one to grab another handful and keep munching. I'm sure it's enough to give you "garlic breath," so be ready with mints if you've got a hot date lined up for later.

The texture is quite firm and rigid. It's the typical "kettle chip" consistency. In all honesty, I prefer a "softer" chip, but the maximum crunch factor worked here just fine.

These chips are pretty addictive. My wife likes them a lot, too. It looks like we'll have this bag polished off by the end of the day, having just opened them yesterday. They're good enough that I'll definitely be visiting that chip aisle again soon to see what other delicious snacky morsels AF has been developing lately...

I give these chips 8 out of 10 stars.

Simply Balanced Organic Sweet Chile Rolled Tortilla Chips

I never thought of or heard of this idea before: rolling tortilla chips into little straw-like tubes. Kinda cool. Novel, at least.

Like traditional tortilla chips, these are crunchy and corn-based and great for dipping in salsa or queso, although with less surface area to scoop up the condiments, they tend not to pick up as much as regular flat chips. But they'd make an excellent addition to any southwestern-style soup or even chili.

They're not super flavorful on their own, but the heat level is nice. There's definitely a bit of spiciness that's not particularly well-advertised on the packaging. Good thing I like my tortilla chips with a little bit of a kick.

They are Simply Balanced, so they're somewhat more "healthy" than regular old Archer Farms selections. I'm not really sure if you can call them "health food" per se, considering the calories, fat, and sodium present, but one must concede they are organic, and they do pack a considerable amount of fiber per serving. Plus, I swear that spicy foods raise my metabolism and help me burn fat naturally. I'm not sure if there's much hard science to back that up, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

These resealable bags are uber-convenient and helpful. Even as quickly as the wife and I can go through a bag of tortilla chips, it's always a bummer when that last little bit at the bottom of the bag has turned stale. At $2.99 a bag, they're a pretty decent value, too.


I give these chips 7 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Maryland-Style Mini Crab Cakes

As the packaging for this product suggests, Maryland is the crab cake capital of the world. Specifically, I'd pinpoint the center of crab cake-dom on earth to be Baltimore's Inner Harbor on the Chesapeake Bay.

I grew up just 15 minutes north of the Maryland border in central Pennsylvania, and about an hour and a half from the Inner Harbor, so I've had a decent crab cake or two in my day. And if I didn't know the difference between a good crab cake and a "meh" crab cake, I might have enjoyed these guys a little more.

But unfortunately, I found them a tad disappointing. I might have written off their blandness to the fact that they're pre-packaged and frozen, but alas, I've had relatively good, pre-packaged, frozen crab cakes.

Most disappointing was the lack of traditional crab seasoning. I didn't taste it at all. There are potato chips that taste more like real crab cakes than these things do.

Also very discouraging was the surprising

absence of the taste of real crab. I'm not saying there wasn't any crab in them, I'm just saying I didn't really taste it. All I tasted were some panko breadcrumbs and tiny bits of diced peppers—which, in this product's defense, were fairly good. Plus, a sauce might have helped enhance the flavor of these crab cakes: remoulade, tartar sauce, or cocktail sauce. It wouldn't hurt to throw a packet of sauce in there for version 2.0, Target.

For those of you who've never had a real crab cake, you probably wouldn't be nearly as disappointed with these as I was. Just don't think that these are necessarily what crab cakes are all about. They don't taste bad, they just don't taste like the crab cakes I know and love.

I'll be generous and give this product 6 out of 10 stars.

Simply Balanced Organic White Corn Tortilla Chips

I guess I don't really need to review these because I already examined Archer Farms White Corn Tortilla Chips, but hey, these are organic, and they have pretty new packaging, plus Target slapped the fancy new "Simply Balanced" label on them, so let's take a look shall we?

These are the chips I ate with the Pumpkin Harvest Salsa, and they paired up quite nicely if you ask me. I wanted a clean, simple flavor so the harvesticity of the salsa would shine through. And it did. I'm getting kinda good at this "foodie-hack" thing. FYI, harvesticity is a noun which means "Flavor or essence associated with harvest foods, such as pumpkin or squash."

I went ahead and considered the organicness of this product and upgraded the score to an 8. The AF white corn chips only got a 7. They must be jealous. And honestly, I'm not even sure they're still available.

Is the nutrition information too small for you? If it is, just go ahead and click on the image to enlarge it.

I give this product 8 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Pumpkin Harvest Salsa

We finally found a pumpkin product at Target!

It's a unique salsa. I'll give it that. But I wasn't quite sure how well anyone could pull off pumpkin salsa. And just as I had feared, their strategy involved creating a condiment that doesn't taste all that much like pumpkin.

Granted, it tastes more like pumpkin than any other salsa I've ever had, but that's not really saying much. More than pumpkin, I taste tomato, and that's to be expected, since tomato and tomato derivatives are the main ingredients of this and most other salsas. But I also taste more butternut squash than pumpkin. And that's not so expected. But it's certainly not a bad thing, either.

To me, this tastes like a combination of traditional salsa and butternut squash soup. There is a hint of pumpkin puree, but it gets overshadowed in the mix. There's a fair amount of spiciness, mostly from the jalapenos as far as I could tell. The label claims a "medium" level of heat, and I'd say that's pretty accurate. I've never had a spicy pumpkin product before, but in this case, it actually kind of works. There are whole corn kernels, which really add to the texture, but not only that, they create a sort of "flavor bridge" between the traditional spicy salsa and the butternut squash and pumpkin flavors. Corn works exceptionally well as an ingredient in spicy salsas and it adds a lot to butternut squash soup.

In summary, if you think pumpkin and butternut squash sound like they could work in a moderately spicy salsa, then you should deffo check this stuff out. I assume it's a seasonal flavor, so it might not be around much longer. I think it would have benefited from some more pumpkin puree, but that's probably just nitpicking.

I give this product 7 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Sun-Dried Tomato & Grilled Chicken Flatbread Pizza

This is the least dessert-ish of the AF flatbreads we've sampled thus far: the Chocolate & Strawberry one being at the sweet end of the spectrum, and the Pear & Gorgonzola one being somewhere in the middle.

This one could be served as dinner or as an appetizer. It sits a bit heavy in the stomach, and the tomato flavor is pretty strong for me, and for those reasons, I would say it works better as an appetizer. But some people would probably disagree.

I've mentioned in previous posts that I'm not a huge fan of raw tomatoes, but cooked, stewed, or dried tomatoes I'm okay with. I also like most tomato derivatives like marinara sauce, ketchup, and tomato soup. The sun-dried tomatoes on this product are plentiful, and they taste a good bit like raw tomatoes. It wasn't a deal-breaker for me, but I think I would have preferred just regular old pizza sauce. You tomato-lovers would probably enjoy them. They're basically tomaisins, the tomato equivalent of raisins, with a comparable shrivel-factor, texture, and size.

Thus far, pretty much all AF pizza and flatbread doughs are apparently created equal. So, no surprises with the crust. There were little pockets of mozzarella and Gouda here and there, and there was a good amount of diced chicken breast. All the elements combined to make a nice, fresh-tasting chicken pizza. I'd say the product is a little too big for one person to eat in one sitting, and yet it's not big enough for a meal for two. So again, it works best as an appetizer in my opinion. You could probably couple it with soup and/or salad to make a well-balanced dinner.

I think it was around five bucks, and it heats in less than 15 minutes. All in all, it's not a bad purchase, though not quite as novel as the other flatbreads we've tried.

I give this flatbread 7 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Garlic, Ginger & Sriracha Cream Cheese Wontons

Over the last few years, I've grown to love Sriracha. It's a fermented hot sauce from Thailand, and it's delicious. It's also tangy, red, and very spicy.

But I'm not sure what it has to do with this product, because these appetizers taste nothing like the Sriracha I know. There's a hint of spiciness, but it's not even a fraction of the heat from one teaspoon of Sriracha.

But don't get me wrong, this product isn't bad. It just doesn't particularly taste like Sriracha to me. Garlic and ginger, yes. Cream cheese, yes. In fact, there are so many different flavors present, it's one of the most complex-tasting hors d'oeuvres I've ever had. It's spicy, sweet, sour,

garlicky, salty, tangy, and creamy all at the same time. It's an extremely complicated conglomeration of essences all coming at you at the same time.

I thought it would be less confusing for my poor tongue if I tasted just the wontons without the sauce. And it was. But I definitely like them better with the sauce. It's like shock and awe for the tongue.

You have to be pretty open-minded to try and enjoy something like this. The closest approximation I can think of might be the Habanero Lime Wontons. Not that they taste the same as these wontons, but both products are uncategorizable, unique, and pretty tasty.

I know I've been stuck giving every product a 7 or an 8 for quite a while now. And I'm torn between the two for these things. I think I'll go with a 7, just because I think I'd take the aforementioned Habanero Lime dealies over these guys. But I suppose you might like these better if'n you consider yourself a garlic kinda person as opposed to a habanero kinda person.

I give this product 7 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Garden Vegetable Ranch Potato Chips

I've become entirely too dependent on packaging illustrations when it comes to critiquing food products. But that's the point of pretty packaging. Marketers know that they can cover up a dearth of quality in the food with creative wording, colorful pictures, and catchy slogans. Now, I'm not necessarily saying these particular chips lack quality. I'm just saying that their aesthetically-pleasing packaging doesn't hurt. I've never claimed to be a true food connoisseur. I'm just an average joe who likes to eat food and be honest about what I think works and doesn't work; a "foodie-hack" if you will.

Like with this particular product, there are pictures of carrots, tomatoes, and onions on the bag to let us know that those are the "garden vegetables" that we're tasting in the ranch sauce on the chips. But I would submit to you that if you can take these chips, sans the packaging, and pick out carrots, tomatoes, and onions in particular, and tell us all that these chips have undertones of those particular vegetables, that you should probably be writing this blog instead of me. Because although I could taste a vague vegetabliness

about the chips, I think it's quite possible that I'm simply reacting to the packaging. There's definitely some ranch flavor, but if I'm honest about what my taste buds are telling me, there's not a whole lot beyond that.

The chips themselves are fairly good. They're slightly firmer than the average potato chip. They're salty, they're crispy, and they taste like potatoes. But even the ranch flavor was a little too subtle in my opinion. So, I guess that summarizes my feelings about these chips. They're decent classic potato chips, but they could use a small boost in the ranch department and a very large boost in the garden veggie department. They're certainly not bad, but why would I buy these over my old standby classic potato chips? The packaging? If you're into very subtly-flavored potato chips, these might be right up your alley.

I give these chips 7 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Petite Quiche Pastry Collection

I rarely find myself in the mood for eggs, but I'm running out of appetizers to review at our local Target store. I think I've tried everything in their freezer at this point, but I'm sure they'll go ahead and usher in some new items very soon just to please me.

Or not.

It's not that I don't like eggs. If I'm in the mood for them, they can really hit the spot. And when I say "eggs," I really mean eggs and all egg-based products, like omelettes or quiches. They tend to be very filling and sit heavily in my stomach.

But nonetheless, I took one for the team and ate these little quiches so you'll know what to expect.

The pastry part is pretty much the same among all three varieties. It's like a pie crust. It's nothing ultra-special, but it'll brown nicely if you cook it long enough, it's very pastry-like, and it's good and flaky. I found the baking instructions to be spot on with this product, and in my experience, that's seldom the case.

The spinach Florentine kind is good, well...if you like spinach. It's kinda like a baked spinach dip with eggs.

On the Lorraine quiches, the cheese stands out the most. It's akin to a delicious egg and cheese omelette squeezed onto a tiny pastry crust. Lorraine is one sexy lady.

Before I even tasted the third variety, I smelled a beautiful campfire in the woods, complete with a skillet full of crispy bacon and egg-filled breakfast sandwich mountain pies. Just a little applewood-smoked bacon goes a long way. I think this one was my favorite.

Unlike other AF hors d'doeuvres, this product comes with two separately packaged cases of 12 quiches a piece. Each one is enough to entertain a small gathering by itself. Or you can do like me, and make each package a fattening, calorific meal for one.

I give this product 7 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Chocolate & Strawberry Dessert Flatbread

I've heard a lot of people complain that some of Archer Farms dinner pizzas don't have enough toppings. I've never really felt that way. I always thought my toppings were plentiful enough, and even if there was a patch of my pizza that seemed a little bare, the crust was tasty enough that I didn't really care all that much.

But with this dessert flatbread, that's definitely my main complaint. Not enough of the toppings. The crust is still good, but it's really a pizza crust. And to me, for some reason, that doughy, crispy bread doesn't quite work as a dessert by itself in the same way that it goes with dinner by itself. It's like one bite is a delicious, creamy, warm strawberry pastry, and the next is just...a plain old breadstick.

Again, I don't mind breadsticks, especially with a traditional pizza. But if you yanked an amazing strawberry chocolate dessert out of my hand and replaced it with a dull, boring slab of baked dough, I'd be upset.

That's kind of what we have here. It tastes great. At least the bites that had some toppings on them. But there were plenty of bites that didn't have any toppings at all.

That could be an issue that varies from flatbread to flatbread, and I just happened to get one of the more sparsely-topped specimens. But I have to score the item I actually got to eat.

Well, I suppose this item was tasty enough, even considering the lack of toppings, that I'd tell you to try it anyway. The chocolate and strawberry flavors aren't overbearing at all. In fact, I think I detected the sweet ricotta and amaretto crumbles just as much as the strawberry and chocolate. That's just fine with me. The bites that contained all the ingredients were balanced and delicious.

This one is more dessert-ish than the Pear & Gorgonzola Flatbread. It's definitely sweeter. I'm a fan. It's great either piping hot out of the oven or chilled in the fridge. Try it both ways.

I give this product 8 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Pear & Gorgonzola Wood-Fired Flatbread

This is what I might refer to as a pseudo-dessert. It's not quite sweet enough to be a full-on dessert treat in my humble opinion—oh sorry, I guess we hip blogger-type people are abbreviating that to "IMHO" these days. But anyway, it's not sweet enough for dessert, as I was saying, and it's a little too sweet to be dinner, IMHO.

But that's just fine for folks like me, because I just graze all day long. I rarely eat actual meals. I grew up that way. I ate a "meal" with my family exactly three times a year: Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Other times, my "dinner" usually consisted of a bowl of cereal eaten on the piano bench in the living room, which I straddled like a horse with the food in front of me so I could watch television at the same time. So personally, I don't really mind food that defies categorization.

Likewise, this flatbread is about as dinner-like as a bowl of cereal. However, it's a bit more substantial. And it's actually really good. It might work better as an appetizer, now that I think about it.

There's not a whole lot of savoriness to it either. It's a very light flavor. Neither gorgonzola nor pear brings a heavy taste to the table. The bread, as well, has some flavor, but it's not at all overbearing. And because all flavors present are light, they blend together in a really nice way. Baking them all together sort of allows them to gel a little more, too. There's pear juice in the cheese and cheese juice on the pears—and let me state under no uncertain terms that I do NOT think fruit and cheese (like apples and cheese) is a very good combo, personally. But there are a few exceptions, as is the case with certain pizzas. In this case, think of the pineapple on a Hawaiian pizza, but not quite as pungent.

So whether you have it for dinner, dessert, or a random snack, there's a good chance it'll hit the spot. It's a unique flavor, and I think it's worth a try.

I give this product 8 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Puff Pastry Collection

If you're looking for a few tasty hors d'oeuvres and a whole bunch of fat, look no further than Archer Farms Puff Pastry Collection.

There are three flavors here, and my wife and I both agree that two of them stand a shade above the third. Although we anticipated the artichoke, Asiago, spinach puff to be the best one of all, it turned out to be just a bit bland.

The other two weren't exactly bursting with flavor, but they were more along the lines of what we expected. They were very good, although I'm not quite sure if you could call them restaurant-quality.

None of the breads stood out from the others. They seemed to taste the same, but they came in three different shapes: rolls, puffs, and croissants. The filling is really what distinguished each of the varieties. I'm not a huge fan of pesto or tomatoes, yet the sun-dried tomato flavor in the ricotta

croissants impressed me a lot. Likewise, the red pepper in the feta rolls gave them enough tang and taste to make them memorable.

The Asiago puffs just didn't do it for either of us. There was a creamy texture within the crisp, flaky pastry shell, but it lacked flavor. I guess by themselves the constituent ingredients don't usually have a ton of heavy flavor, but I think when I've had similar products in the past, they were paired with spices that gave them a bit of zest and brought out the natural yumminess of the artichoke and spinach.

All in all, this product's worth a try if you think they sound good. Just don't expect much from the Asiago pastries.

I give these puff pastries 7 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Sweet Potato Tortilla Chip Rounds

When I saw this product, my eyes bulged with excitement. I yanked it off the shelf at my local Target, and began reading the description on the back of the bag. It mentioned eating these chips with guacamole. My heart sank a little. I was hoping they'd be truly sweet—the kind of item you wouldn't want to eat with guacamole. But then I looked at the ingredients and saw that the number one ingredient was still corn. "Sweet potato powder" was a good ways down the list.

Although I was no longer so enthused about trying them, I decided to buy them anyway, since I like to try interesting new things. I had always been a fan of sweet potato French fries, but I'm appalled that anyone would eat them with non-sweet condiments. At a central Pennsylvania county fair growing up, I remember eating those fries with maple syrup and brown sugar, the way they were meant to be eaten—like a dessert. People in California butchered them with tartar sauce. Tartar sauce? On sweet potato fries?

But anyway, these chips are a completely different animal. They're basically just regular tortilla chips with a tiny hint of sweet potato flavor. I don't particularly enjoy eating plain tortilla chips without any salsa, and likewise, I found these to be rather dull without some fixins. I didn't think hot salsa was a good pairing with them at all, though.

My wife and I took Target's suggestion of guacamole to heart, and Sonia mashed up some avocados and tomatoes. It went pretty well with these chips, I must admit. And Sonia absolutely raved about these things even before she had them with guac.

I don't think I would have given them more than a 6 if it hadn't been for Sonia and her homemade guacamole. But I could see how anyone might be a fan of these chips, as long as they're not expecting something particularly sweet.

I give this product 7 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Spicy Habanero Lime Cream Cheese Wontons

These are weird. And I mean that in the best way possible. I've never had anything quite like them before, and I pride myself on being very open to new experiences and having tried lots of random foods. I've eaten chapulines (chili-covered grasshoppers, popular in parts of Mexico), açaí berries, kangaroo meat (never been to Australia, though - long story), eel, several different dishes involving cow stomach, and Milk-Bones (again, long story), among other things. Oh, and quite possibly, horse meat. I had those Ikea meatballs during that recent, heavily-publicized scandal, and even though they claim they didn't serve horse in their American stores, I'm not sure I believe them entirely.

Now I'm not saying the ingredients in these appetizers are necessarily from unusual animals or exotic plants or anything like that. I'm just saying if you can throw something together that really doesn't taste like something I've already had, you've already impressed me.

Even though there's not an ounce of seafood in these, there was something that reminded me of seafood. Maybe it's because there was cream cheese in the Lobster Bites and Crab Rangoon. Although these wontons don't taste like either of those other hors d'oeuvres, I think in a way, the cream cheese is more a base flavor than the seafood itself, or in this case, the peppers themselves.

The dipping sauce was somewhere in between that old school McDonald's sweet and sour sauce and, I dunno, like a funky orange marmalade or something. The wontons themselves were spicy, cream cheesy, and deliciously bready. I've seldom had such scrumptious fried dough. Well, ok, I guess it's the same stuff on the aforementioned Lobster Bites and Crab Rangoon. But it's good. That's my point. And the lime...the level of liminess was perfect. You can certainly taste it, but it's not overbearing.

I'm gonna go ahead give this puppy 8 out of 10 stars. 

Archer Farms Salt & Lime Corn Chips

These chips are more like Fritos than Tostitos. And they taste pretty limey. They're sturdy, dip-tastic, and salty as the sea. That's not to imply they're made with sea salt, I just liked the alliteration in the last part of that sentence. Catchy, don't you think?

If you've had other lime corn chips and wished they had just a bit more than a hint of lime, you might wanna check these out. The liminess isn't overwhelming. It's just right in my opinion. If they overdid it with anything, it was the salt.

But "salt and lime" chips are gonna be chock full o'...well, salt and lime. These went great with the Summer Fruits Salsa. Scrump-dilly. The little scoop shape is super-practical. I'm not sure why they still sell non-scoop-shaped chips anymore, or for that matter, why I keep buying them again and again...

From this point forward, I demand that all chips be created to feature a scoop or shovel design. I shall not purchase a bag of chips until you comply with my demands. You hear that, Archer Farms corporate guys? NOT A SINGLE BAG OF CHIPS!

If you're with me on this, leave a comment below letting me know you'll sign the petition. Practical chip fans unite!

We'll see how that goes over with the big Target gurus. I'm sure they'll cave any day now and announce that they'll only sell scoop-shaped chips at Target stores.

But at any rate, I'm quite impressed with these chips. If you like a little cornmeal with your lime and salt, check them out. No, really, I guess I'm exaggerating a little. There's a pretty good balance of all the flavors present—and again, I can't recommend them enough with a fruit-based salsa.


I give this product 8 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Summer Fruits Thick & Chunky Salsa

This might be the best fruit-based salsa I've ever tasted. It's definitely my favorite Archer Farms salsa so far. And I really enjoyed some of their other salsas, particularly the mango peach and black bean roasted pepper.

The main thing that sets this one apart from the other salsas is the fact that it truly is "medium" on the spice-o-meter, at least in my humble opinion. While the mango peach salsa was labeled "medium," it definitely fell short of the mark in the heat department.

Not only is this salsa moderately hot, but the heat doesn't get in the way of the fresh, sweet "summer fruit" flavors they threw into the mix, including strawberry, kiwi, and pineapple. And I guess technically tomatoes are fruit, too, but they're filed under "vegetables" in my brain. There are also chunks of jalapeno and bell peppers in the jar, and they all blend together better than I would have ever imagined.

I tried this sauce on some salt and lime chips, and it was brilliant. The lime enhanced the fruitiness of the salsa, yet the chip flavor was subtle enough to allow the salsa flavors to shine through like the summer sun.

I'm still on a quest to find that perfect Archer Farms food. The one that will get our first 10 star score. And while this comes darn close, earning our first 9 star score in the condiment category, it's not quite perfect. I would like to see a salsa that's truly "hot" and sweet, and the chunks of fruit could be just a tad larger. That's nitpicking, I know, but I'm a tough grader.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Archer Farms Peanut Butter & Jelly Trail Mix

If you like trail mixes...and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, you just might like this product, although if the bread's your favorite part, you might not enjoy it that much.

Just looking at the bag, I think it appears pretty appetizing. All those nuts and pretty pastel colors. You see those big lavender wads of who-knows-what that kind of look like pieces of chewed gum? Well, those are not soft, like I was expecting them to be. I thought they would be like yogurt chips with berry flavor or something.

They do have a berry-ish flavor, but they're actually crunchy. That disappointed me. The nuts are crunchy! What do we need more crunch for? We need smoothness. Fortunately, there are smaller "flavored bites" throughout the mix that are soft and reminiscent of yogurt chips. They come in both berry-ish flavors and peanut butter flavor.

There are also pieces of dried fruit, which are soft and juicy. They mix well with the peanuts. I think there were two different kinds. There were strawberry-flavored craisins...and I think something else...

There were no raisins in this mix, which is good. Not that I dislike raisins, but I don't think they would have gone with this very well.

All in all, I think they could do away with the crunchy chewed-gum-looking pieces and throw in more strawberry-flavored craisins and yogurt chips, er, excuse me, "fruit and peanut butter flavored bites." But it's a tasty snack, both salty and sweet, and filling, too.

My wife Sonia raved about this stuff. I think I would have given it only 6 stars, but I'll bump that up to a 7 in her honor.

This trail mix gets 7 out of 10 stars.

Archer Farms Bacon Wrapped Scallops

In our neverending search for the first 10-star product from Archer Farms, we've been splurging a bit on the hors d'oeuvres. This is another pricey one, about $7 at our Target.

We came close to a perfect 10 with the Crab Rangoon. And one yogurt flavor and one dessert have the distinction of 9 star scores.

We've also never discovered anything worthy of 3 stars or less. Which is good. That says something about the relative quality of Archer Farms products. This product is no exception, and it falls closer to the top of the scale than the bottom, for sure.

Strangely, the packaging calls this a "scallop" rather than "scallops," but I assure you there are more than one inside the box. Not many more...but I think I counted 10 or so.

They came frozen together. Solid. I had to let them thaw a bit before prying them apart on the baking sheet. Even then it was difficult. I highly recommend taking their suggestion to put these on aluminum foil for "easy cleanup." They're quite messy. And fatty! There were giant pools of grease underneath each piece.

The bacon was crispy and the scallops were soft after baking. The texture was pretty impressive, I'd say. Sometimes scallops can be too chewy, but not these. They aren't the best scallops I've ever tried, but their texture was top-notch. The bacon made the product greasy but flavorful, and each element added just enough taste to balance the other out.

If you eat the whole package, you're looking at 3/4 of your daily saturated fat. Which is to say... don't eat the whole package at once. A "serving size" is apparently 5 pieces. That would suffice to quell most appetites and make one feel adequately fattened.

If you're into bacon and scallops, check these out. Another restaurant-quality product from your local Target freezer.

I give these 8 out of 10 stars.